


Perfect Family

by Deanpala



Category: The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
Genre: False Identity, False Memories, Gaslighting, Mind Games, Non Consensual Relationship, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Other, Possession, Possessive Behavior, Reality Bending, Requited Unrequited Love, Sitcom, Uncanny, Unrequited Love, Unsettling
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-05
Updated: 2021-03-12
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:55:57
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 6,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29207730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deanpala/pseuds/Deanpala
Summary: Beholding loves Martin, and he refuses to let things go back to how they were before he knew you were using Jon to be closer to him, so you decide to make him go back, and you know he will be happy.Based directly off of apple of your eye and wandavision, although the layer is just vibes not the actual story. You do need to read apple of your eye to understand this.
Relationships: Martin Blackwood/ Jonathan “Jon” Sims | The Archivist, The Beholding/Martin Blackwood
Comments: 122
Kudos: 62





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Apple of Your Eye](https://archiveofourown.org/works/27182735) by [fakeCRfan](https://archiveofourown.org/users/fakeCRfan/pseuds/fakeCRfan). 



_“No. It won’t be the same. It won’t be like—you won’t smile.” It is so hard to put into words. “We don’t—I want it to go back.”_

_“Nothing ever goes back.” Martin blinks slowly, voice aching. “It’s already too late for that. Just let me have this one thing—please.”_

_You think about it._

_‘Nothing ever goes back’_

_That’s certainly an idea._

_You enlist the help of your siblings, the twisting deceit and I do not know you, making sure to emphasize the fact that these humans know something that could put all of you at risk._

_And so, your Martin can be happy again, and you go back._

————————-

The first thing Martin is aware of when he wakes up is the smell of bacon, and a soft bed beneath him.

He panics at this, not knowing why.

“Breakfast dear.” Jon says, coming into the room and kissing him, and he relaxes. Of course. This is how it’s supposed to be, what was he thinking?

He leans up to kiss the archivist back and gives a bemused little smile, and you thrill at the touch.

“What’s this? Don’t I usually cook?”

“Well yes, but I’m allowed to treat my husband every once and awhile aren’t I?”

He rolls his eyes at this.

“Yes yes, well thank you, I appreciate it.”

“Of course.”

“And did you eat yet?”

“Pancakes, coffee, the whole nine yards. You don’t have to worry about me, just relax.”

Relax, he can do that, it’s so easy.

Except.

“Coffee? I thought you hated-“

No but that isn’t right is it?

“Are you alright Martin?”

“No, no I remember now, you drink coffee every morning to help you wake up. Sorry I’m just- tired I guess.”

“... maybe some fresh air will help wake you up, we can go in a walk in the park.”

“Yes that- that sounds good, thank you Jon.”

So they leave the house together, hand in hand.


	2. Chapter 2

The walk seems pleasant at first, but Martin gets a creeping awareness that something isn’t right.

They walk around a lake, just holding hands, and Jon is leaning into his side just a bit more intensely than normal, like he thinks this is the only opportunity that he thinks he’ll get to do this.

He realizes that there’s other people in the park besides them, but none of them actually seem to be doing... anything. They’re just staring at him.

The second thing he realizes is that there’s no animals here, not a single squirrel or bug or bird, just the people watching him.

He tries to push down his unease. He’s probably just imagining it.

His arm tightens around Jon, and he decides to focus on him instead.

“So, no work today?”

“Of course not, neither of us have jobs.”

Martin’s brow furrows in confusion.

“Then how do we- our house is nice, there’s no way it’s just a free house.”

Jon just shrugs much to his confusion.

“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m certainly not going to complain about being able to spend more time with you.”

“But that doesn’t-“

————————

“-Egg yolks are actually one of the more commonly used emulsifying agents-“

Martin blinks in confusion and notices they’re on the couch.

“Weren’t we just at the park? And I was- I was saying something, it was important I’m sure.......”

You lean the archivist into his side and try to keep from smiling obviously.

“I’m sure it couldn’t have been too terribly important if you forgot about it.”

“No you- you’re probably right.”

“Of course I am, I’m always right.”

Martin rolls his eyes at this.

“Yes, sorry I forgot about that oh great one~”

“You’re forgiven,” you say, kissing the underside of his jaw, then stand the archivist up, and have him gently take Martin’s hand.

“Come to bed with me?”

“I thought it was just morning not too long ago?”

“Time does go by when you’re enjoying yourself.”

“Seem to be doing a lot of that these days,” he agrees, and he follows you to bed.  
———————-

Martin wakes up panicked in the middle of the night, but he doesn’t know what caused such panic.

He’s- he’s scared of.... something. Somethings wrong with Jon his mind whispers, so he quickly turns on the lamp on the bedside table and has to choke down a yell when it looks like it’s staring at him. 

He holds his breath for a long moment, hands over his mouth, and the light almost.... blinks at him. And then it’s just a light.

Ok. Ok. Logically speaking that didn’t- it’s just a faulty bulb, and he’s still tired. He’s just seeing things he IS-

He looks over at Jon who’s sleeping soundly, except a muttering in his sleep.

“I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m sorry I’m-“

He lets out a sigh of relief. Jon’s just having nightmare too. He must’ve heard him talking in his sleep and that lead to his own nightmares.

Everything’s fine, he tells himself as his heart pounds. 

Everything’s- everything’s fine.

He wraps himself around Jon, and tries to fall back asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

The next morning, a profound feeling of gratefulness waves over Martin. He doesn’t know why it feels like a miracle that he gets to be with Jon, but he certainly isn’t going to take him for granted.

He decides to make a good breakfast for him, and jumps when arms wrap around him from the back and a kiss sneaks its way to his cheek.

He laughs, and turns around to kiss Jon back.

He’s... wearing a suit, and holding a briefcase weirdly enough.

“You sure clean up nice.”

“Thank you,” Jon says beaming at him. 

As Jon sits down to eat he looks transfixed, like he wants to soak in every moment of the experience.

Jon quickly stands to leave, and Martin tries to stop him.

“Wait where are you-“

Martin’s standing in the living room now, Jon looking adorably frazzled, and he doesn’t know how he got here.

Before he can say anything Jon says “Martin, I know it’s short notice but Mr. Bouchard-“ he swears he hears something crackle in the air “Magnus is coming over for dinner tonight and he’s expecting a meal.”

The words- no, the name specifically doesn’t look like it matched Jon’s lips, and he frowns.

The name is on the front of his mind, he knows he should know it but he just can’t quite reach it.

“And it’s important to impress Mr. Magnus because?”

“He’s my-“ the lips don’t match again, and he isn’t sure why “boss Martin.”

“Right, Right! Your boss!”

Wait didn’t Jon just say yesterday he didn’t have a job?

He hasn’t asked a lot so far, but everytime he’s tried it’s been waved away, so he goes for a different approach.

“What’s your job again?”

“Martin please I’ll take care of the cleaning and I asked Tim if he and Sasha could come over and help to but we still don’t have time-“

“Ok yes, sorry! I just don’t want to look like a total idiot in front of your boss.”

Jon gives him a bit of a startled look but hesitantly offers up,

“I’m similar to a realtor I suppose, I convince people that they’re allowed to have a happy life and try to give it to them.”

“Right sorry I’m just- tired.”

Jon gives him a quick peck on the check.

“Then I’m sorry to add this stress to it.”

“No, it’s fine.”

A knock sounds at the door and Martin goes to answer it.

“Marto! Buddy! How’s it hanging?”

The man in front of him is NOT Tim, this man sounds vaguely American and has blond hair, Tim doesn’t have blond hair he has-

He has-

He doesn’t know. It isn’t blond though.

“Hey, thanks for coming to help us.”

“No problem, just means you owe us a cook out,” he says shooting finger guns “and of course you remember the famous Mrs. Stoker?”

“How do you do.”

Sasha does a dramatic bow and Tim takes her hand kissing it.

This sets him off more than anything else has so far. He doesn’t know what it is but hearing her referred to like that, seeing Tim kiss her, he feels TERRIFIED.

He wants to throw up. 

He wants to punch Tim.

Neither of them react to him closing his eyes tightly to collect himself.

Sasha holds up a basket full of food.

“Should we get started?”

—————————

Martin doesn’t know what he was worried about before.

There are a few oddities that happen, yes, such as all the food being missing from the fridge.

Luckily the Stokers brought everything. And he means EVERYTHING, down to the spices.

“You know,” Sasha says as she cuts the onions “olive oil is thought by some to prevent cancer. It isn’t true of course, but it’s a fun thought.”

She sounds oddly robotic when she says it, but he just laughs.

This is- this feels nice, all of them doing something as a team. It feels right. He’s missed this.

It’s odd really. They seem to be paying him far more attention than he’s used to, casually shoulder squeezes and glances, but he can’t say he doesn’t appreciate it.

They eventually reach the end of cooking with ten minutes to spare, just enough time to get the few dishes taken care of and check on Jon.

When he peeks his head out the dining/ living room is already clean, but Jon isn’t moving to do it he’s just. Standing there. Staring into space limply with a smile on his face.

It doesn’t last long before he goes from blankly staring to looking at Martin, smile widening, and Martin feels a chill go down his spine.

“Jon?”

“Sorry I was... distracted. I had my attention else where, I was watching something.”

Martin doesn’t mention the fact that the TV’s off.

“Did you have fun with Tim and Sasha?”

“Yeah. Yeah I’ve- I’ve missed them.”

Jon smiles widely, almost a sort of vindication.

“Good. People do need their friends.”

It’s said in that same off way Sasha talked about the olive oil, like it’s just a fun fact, and he tries to not let it bug him.

“Obviously. Is Mr. Magnus coming over soon or....”

“Yes, he’s-“

And then he finds himself hugging Jon in bed.

He blinks confused, but doesn’t say anything.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Um. Attempted sexual coercion? Is that a thing? Nothing actually happens but I thought I’d give a heads up

The next time Martin wakes up (and he is beautiful when he sleeps, simply letting you hold him) you decide that he is adapting reasonably well to the circumstances, so you will try for an uninterrupted day with him this time.

And it is amazing. You no longer have to try and influence The Archivist to do what you want, you simply do it, and Martin responds in mind.

He’s smiling again, even if he is a little uneasy. You love his fear of course, yes, but missed his smile so much.

And now you don’t have to choose between them.

Your favorite thing about this new situation is that he is willing to hold you. That you are fully connected to a speaking feeling body, and he’s the one initiating contact.

You bury your face further into his collarbone and he laughs.

You have never been happier.

—————-

Jon is acting weird. Clingier.

Not that Martins complaining of course. He loves cuddling Jon, loves being able to take care of him.

He looks away from the TV with the rom com playing, and sees that Jon isn’t watching it, but is watching him. 

It adorable really.

Jon stares him for a minute longer before standing up and taking his hand.

“Come to bed with me?”

“Jon it’s only seven thirty, I’m really not tired.”

“Who said anything about sleep?” Jon asks. 

He wants to say yes, but something twists in Martin at that, similar to when he saw Tim kiss Sasha, yet so much worse.

He looks up at Jon’s hopeful face, tries to answer, and instead he chokes on his words and starts crying.

Jon’s back on the couch in a second, holding him.

“Hey, it’s alright, you’re ok.”

“I don’t know what’s wrong with me. We were having such a good day, and I want to have sex, and I know you do too, but I just- I CAN’T I feel... dirty somehow. I’m sorry.”

Jon hugs him tight at this.

“It’s okay, I can wait. Nothing has to happen, we have all the time in the world.”


	5. Chapter 5

The barbecue is enjoyable enough. There’s a bunch of people who Martins never met before, but they’re all friendly to him.

He’s never been to a barbecue before, much less cooked at one, so it doesn’t make sense that he’s the one grilling the meat, especially since they’re at Tim and Sasha’s home, but he likes taking care of people. All the asks and numbers fit into neat little categories in his head, and it’s enjoyable to just... do something that isn’t overly complicated for other people.

When Tim had offered him the spatula, he’d be worried about leaving Jon alone, knowing how clingy he’d been lately, but he just smiled at him and waved him on, making idle conversation as he watched Martin cook.

Sasha comes up beside him.

“How’s the food coming?”

“Pretty good if I do say so myself.”

She gives him a brief squeeze in a side hug.

“I wanted to say thank you.”

“It’s no problem. I enjoy it and I mean with how you guys helped us with our dinner I’d owe you anyway.”

“No, not for the dinner. This is the longest I’ve been anyone in a long time. Let’s hope it goes better for me than the first two eh?” She says, and laughs nervously.

He feels a sense of hysteric concern grow in him at that. What the hell does that MEAN?

She straightens herself, and walks away, and Jon is awkwardly perked up too, almost like an antenna sending a signal.

Before this, he thought it was just him. That he was going crazy or something, but this is proof that other people know somethings off.

She had thanked him specifically. Is he the one doing whatever this is somehow? And with the way Jon had jerked up, was he making him suffer too? Were they even suffering? If they were thanking him and all?

What the hell was going on?

He decides he’s going to mention it when they get home, try to get some straight answers.

He starts to bring out the burgers and hot dogs, but he drops some in his nervousness and-

He’s hearing laughing. Not one person here looks like they’re doing it but he hears at least fifty people laughing at his blunder.

(Pause for laughter, his mind whispers, though he doesn’t know what it means.)

Is he being watched?

Martin goes to Jon.

“Jon. Can we leave? Please? I’m not- I don’t feel well.”

Jon looks.... less worried, though he does look that, and more confused, like this isn’t supposed to be happening.

“Of course. We care about you.”

There’s a series of “awwwww”s that rip through the world, and he’s stumbling now, trying to quickly leave and make his fair wells before he looses it.

They get home, (when did they do that? He doesn’t remember walking, or opening the door) and he has to bite back tears at his panic.

“Jon I- I think there’s something wrong with me I’m- I keep loosing time and I didn’t recognize Tim and Sasha at first and- and I’m hearing things now and I don’t- I don’t know what to do? Am I going crazy?”

Jon’s face goes hard at this announcement, and he starts stroking his hair.

“Oh darling, of course not. You- you’re going to be alright, I’ll make sure of that.”

He wraps his arms around Martin tightly, and Martin can hear him whisper quietly.

“Stop, he’s OURS.”

And something clicks into place that Jon’s a part of this too.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING! This chapter talks about upsetting topics. If you’ve read apple of your eye it references (and ONLY refrances, nothing happens) the scene from chapter 8, if not, in that scene beholding intends to rape Martin and changes its mind, so nothing actually happens, but it’s still yikes. I put * at the beginning and end of that part to make it easier to avoid.
> 
> There is also emotional manipulation, and some non consensual touching, though nothing sexual

Martin throws himself away from you, and you know that he knows, you hear his frantic confused thoughts spinning in his mind.

“What- why- what are you doing?”

“I love you,” you respond. It had been easy to distract him earlier.

His eyes widen further, and he knows that you know.

So you give up. You wrap the archivists arms around him as he struggles, and gently brush his hair out of his face.

“Our smart, beautiful Martin, you figured it out so much quicker than we thought you would.”

The Archivists fond smile presses into Martin’s shoulder.

“You always surprise us in the most unexpected ways.”

“What are you going to do to me?”

“Nothing. We love you Martin.”

You sigh. The game was fun while it lasted, but deceit is not your forte, and you were hoping that you could keep that fantasy forever, as unrealistic as it might have been, so you clear away the false memories, and Martin stops fighting you, freezing up in your arms.

“Let go of me,” he says.

You do as he asks. He will be unhappy enough with you as is. 

“I thought- I thought you weren’t able to erase memories.”

“We aren’t. We asked for the help of our siblings, and they layered the new memories over the old ones, and acted out the new scenes.”

He’s practically shaking in his helplessness and anger.

“So one of you wasn’t enough, you decided to- to split me.”

“That is incorrect. We asked for help to keep you happy. We can go back to it again if you want, we know that you’ve wanted something like that for a long time.”

“I didn’t- that wasn’t the same. I don’t know how to make you understand- I don’t think you CAN understand why that isn’t the same, or else you wouldn’t have tried. God, I ask for ONE THING-“

His rambling gives you a thought, and he yelps as you wrap the Archivists hands around Martin’s wrists, and sit them down close together.

“What are you doing?”

“We think there has been a misunderstanding, you worry because you think we are hurting the Archivist. We clearly don’t know how to make you love us, and you said we don’t understand what makes you happy so. Explain. Tell us what it will take to make you love us.”

Martin freezes and you soar at the hope you feel slowly trickle into him.

“If I say to let go of Jon, will you?”

You hum thoughtfully. 

“.... we wish to clear up any misunderstandings, and know what it is about the situation upsets you. We doubt we are wrong that the Archivist loves you, because he is us, and we want you to be able to understand that, and to know what causes you to think otherwise. We will listen to your thoughts and arguments on the subject.”

Martin is frightened at this responsibility, that he might fail in his goal, but he also feels resolve, and the hope continues to grow as you revel in it.

He still has not pulled away from your hand.

“And you won’t get bored and stop listening to me halfway through?”

You squeeze his hand in affection and he winces.

“We will never get bored of you Martin.”

“Right,” he says, more of the fear turning into resolve. He has as long as he needs to get this right.

“Why do you love me?” Martin asks, and you are confused by how he came to this line of thought, wondering where he’s going with this.

“The answer to that has changed over time. When you first came to us, we loved how paradoxical you were, how desperately you feared and longed to be seen. Almost everything you felt was some type of fear, there were few times where you were happy without the belief that it was temporary. And then we got so used to feeling the positive mixed in with the negative, that even without fear we loved those parts of you. We have never loved such things before.”

You can see Martin tuck that away in his mind to process later, and his next question throws you off more than the first.

“Are you in love with the lonely?”

“Of course not, we are siblings.”

“But I’m a part of the lonely. So if you don’t love the lonely, but you love me, that means that entities and the creatures that make you up are two different things.”

“That’s different” you say patiently, “you are a part of a whole. You may love someone’s laughter, and little else about them, but if you love someone, your laugh loves them as well.”

Frustration builds up in Martin at this, but he does take a moment to genuinely think it over.

“So you just love a part of the lonely?”

Your mind rears at this, snagging on the earlier thought in an upsetting way.

“No. You’re so much more to us than that, we love everything about YOU. The lonely has no part in our affection.”

“And Jon’s the same. He’s his own thing outside of you, and even if he wasn’t, if I’m- if me and Jon are both parts, then he can still dislike me. You might love someone, but your... I don’t know, laugh metaphor again, your ears can hate their laugh, even if you love that they are happy.”

“There is no part about you we don’t love, so all of us would love you,” you say.

“But there are- Jon doesn’t- it’s- even if you make him love me, he also doesn’t.”

You furrow the archivists face at him doubtful.

“That is a contradiction,” you say.

Martin takes in a shaky breath.

* “When you- in the tunnels, when you wanted sex. You stopped. Why?”

All of his body is clenched up at that, like reminding you will cause you to change your mind.

“We remembered your smile, and realized that if we took what we wanted we might never see you smile at us the same way again.”

His lungs rattle at this, the memory upsetting him, and the revelation of what saved him not being compassion, but something else you wanted from him. *

“Right. Then that’s- even if you can’t understand that Jon doesn’t want this, which I really hope you do, understand that it’s the same for me. I don’t love you, I love him as a part of you, and I love his smile when he’s the one in control of his body, and if I- if I allow you to do what you want with me, then I will loose that. He will feel gross, and violated, and if you can’t respect that for his sake, then just. Realize it would upset me knowing he was like that.”

You love Martin so much. More than any human has ever loved anything.

So you think about this. You know you will not be able to convince him otherwise, and the idea of anyone seeing your Martin the same way you see the Archivist is sickening.

You still do not understand, but if Martin views his situation with Jon the same way you think of Martin.... well. You can not in good conscious take the Archivists smile from him, even if he’s wrong.

You decide to ask one more question for clarification.

“You would love us if we were someone you didn’t love?”

“I can’t- I would try to, if that’s what you want. If that’s what it takes for you to do this one thing for me.”

You bring his hands up to the Archivists lips and gently press a kiss to it.

“Does this mean you’ll let him go?”

You hum in response.

“We will think on what you said,” you instead offer, and that hope, it doesn’t go away.

This is enough for you, for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Summary for tagged part: Martin asks why it stopped earlier and it says it realized it would never see his smile again if it didn’t 
> 
> Please someone help I can’t stop writing for this it’s like heroin.


	7. Chapter 7

You wait several days before dedicating yourself to follow through with Martin’s wish, stewing in his hope and anxiety.

And after around five sleep cycles, you gently wake him up by burying yourself into a hug.

He startles of course, but you ignore it and gently kiss the underside of his jaw.

“We have decided to give you back your Archivist,” you inform him “do not get it confused, we are not intending to give either of you up, we will simply try this in a different way.”

He goes from stiff in your arms to sagging with relief and. And there’s that smile you treasure so much, that you were so worried you would loose, and you can not help yourself but to give him another kiss and beem at him, even if he shutters at it.

“Are you- now?”

You whine and pout at him.

“So impatient. We want some time to... appreciate you like this, before we leave.”

Martin squirms uncomfortably, but does not push you away in the hopes that it will hurry this along.

“What finally convinced you?”

“We weren’t convinced per say. We still believe you misunderstand what the Archivist is in relation to us, but we realized that it didn’t matter. Whether you are correct or not, you are still unhappy.”

“Well I’m- thank you.”

You savor those words, and pull yourself from the Archivist, letting him go limp in Martin’s arms.


	8. Chapter 8

You let Martin and your Archivist have some time together. It’s.... strange. They both care for each other, that much is obvious, but it’s different now. Both of them being greatful to the other, both of them stewing in guilt, and neither of them touching each other.

It’s frustrating. You were almost certain they would go back to normal without your interference.

Such breaks can only last so long however, and you are getting restless without your Martin, so you send them on their way, pulling them down into the ground with solid earth over their heads, in the hopes that the smell of death won’t be able to permeate here.

Martin looks up nervously 

“Do you know what it’s doing?”

“No, it isn’t- it’s not giving me anything. Still, don’t think we have much of a choice in the matter, do we?”

“No I- I suppose not. I’m sorry that you got... caught up in this. That it’s making you apart of this too.”

The Archivist laughs at this.

“Martin, I’ve been a part of this for- far to long. It claimed me before you got involved. I shouldn’t have let it take me in the first place.”

“It wouldn’t have done all of... that though, if it wasn’t for me. If I didn’t... if it didn’t like me, or if I didn’t like you.”

“Hm. Maybe not, but you can hardly help how you feel, and I’m not going to blame you for committing the horrible crime of being likable. I’m... sorry. That I can’t return your feelings. But I still.... I still care about you, even without the eye.”

“I’ve told you, it’s fine. God we’re a mess, we need to stop having these conversations.”

The Archivist hums his agreement, both of them walking in silence down the halls you made.

You give the Archivist a rush of emotion, and try and nudge him to hug Martin and comfort him.

He does not, unfortunately. He lets out a little annoyed grunt and stumbles, and then stubbornly refuses to act on your desires.

“Jon? You ok?”

“Yes it just- it still wants me to do things? And I didn’t notice before when it would nudge me that way, but now I’m sort of paranoid about it and it’s- it’s nothing.”

Martin just gives him a concerned look, and you don’t want him to be, so you reach the Archivists hand out and squeeze Martin’s.

He immediately goes on the defense and glares at the Archivist.

“Don’t-“

The Archivist gives the hands a scrutinizing look, and tries to pull away, which you don’t allow.

“It isn’t- it’s still me. I didn’t mean to do that, but it isn’t letting me let go thats- hm.”

“Oh,” he says, then looks at one of the lamps with glowing eyes as bulbs that light the tunnels.

You squint happily at him.

“Stop it,” he says.

You release the Archivists hand, and he immediately pulls away.

“Thank you,” The Archivist says, and they continue walking, with a gaping distance between them.

“You know, this is weird,” Martin remarks “like where did it get the sitcom thing from? I mean, we had a BARBECUE, that’s incredibly American of it. And the not Tim too! Why was HE American? Does it just watch shitty reruns of American shows on the Telly?”

The Archivist bites his lip to stop his smile from growing too wide but can’t help but to let out a chuckle.

“Good point, although Tim DEFINITELY would have be Californian if he was American. Although, I wouldn’t mind more a “full house” next time rather than “I love Lucy” or whatever it was going for.”

Martin let’s out a snort “don’t TEMPT it, you’re going to give it ideas!”

You let them walk for a day more before loosing your patience, and looping the Archivists arms through Martin’s.

“What are you doing?” He asks hesitantly, not sure if you are simply leading the Archivists or if he’s speaking to you directly.

You lean into the contact.

“We missed you.”

Martin scowls at you.

“You said you’d let him go.”

“We did! We are just.... borrowing. It’s only for a short time.”

He tries to pull his arm out of yours.

“I told you I don’t- I don’t want to do anything with him.”

You pout at him.

“We aren’t even doing anything romantic. Just walking together. Nothing you need to worry about upsetting your archivist.”

You say your instead of our, because you are trying, and because everything you have is Martin’s. If Martin truly thinks he feels similar about your Archivist as you do him, then who are you to begrudge him that ownership?

“I don’t- it doesn’t matter what you’re doing, I don’t want you using him at all.”

“We miss feeling you,” is all you say in response, and he lets out a frustrated sigh.

Still, in this moment he is angry, but he is not hurting, not desperately afraid. He might argue, but he is not violently opposed to you.

You limit yourself only to the next half hour, and count it as a win.


	9. Chapter 9

There is only a brief moment when they approach the panopticon in which Martin goes “huh. Don’t know why I didn’t expect this,” before he stumbles from the weight of something throwing itself at him, squealing in joy.

He grabs it by the shoulder and forces it back to get a look, and you smile at him brightly and melt into the touch.

“Jonah?”

You take a hand from Jonahs shoulder and press a kiss into it.

“Martin.”

“Oh! You’re- alright then.”

The Archivist shuffles uncomfortably behind him at the sight. He does not know how to feel about seeing you interacting with Martin when you are not using him to do so. He is filled with your joy at getting to hold Martin again, yes, but also with dread and anxiety.

You nudge the corners of his mind and encourage him to hold Martin. Not a demand, simply an invitation so as to not make him feel left out.

Besides, the more hands to touch Martin with, the better.

He does not. It is disappointing, but not unexpected.

You grab Martin’s wrist with Jonahs hands, and pull him eagerly.

“Come. We have set everything up just as you like it.”

And you have, setting up a room in the panopticon with a soft bed, books, a kettle, paintings he’s expressed fondness for in the past, and games for him to play.

He gives it a once over, and does not express the excitement you hoped he would. He seems intrigued though, which is more than you expected.

There’s a trace amount of worry buzzing under his skin.

“Does- where will Jon be staying?”

“There’s no reason to be anxious, your Archivist will stay with you. We wouldn’t take him away from you.”

The Archivists dread is building from behind the two of you, something you can’t understand. You do not mind sharing what is yours with Martin, as Martin is yours, so you still loose nothing. The idea of belonging to Martin is.... wonderful. For him to think of you as you do him. It is impossible of course, because he is to human, to small to be capable of feeling the way you do, or to claim any sort of ownership, but the idea makes you melt a bit.

“I think his issue was rather the other way. We aren’t sharing a bed.”

You look at Martin for conformation, and he wilts a little under the attention.

“Yeah that was- yes. He- he deserves his own space.”

You frown at this. What they are doing is... confusing, to you. You know Martin likes sharing a bed with the Archivist, like holding him and being held, and yet he is asking you specifically to take that from him.

You try and think of how to fix this, not wanting to separate them more than required, especially considering that despite the ask for space, neither of them are comfortable not knowing what is happening to the other.

You think of those old idealized lives you tried to recreate, and it gives you the solution. You take away the bed made for the three of you, and replace it with two that are only a few feet apart, one large enough for you and Martin, and the other for the Archivist.

You keep Jonahs eyes on Martin as you do so, hoping for his approval.

“Better?”

“I was thinking more like different rooms?”

You stare at him, saying nothing, and he sighs.

“That’s... yes. It’s progress I guess. Well done.”

He still isn’t happy with the situation, but he will tolerate it. You can tell how hard he’s trying. He knows now what you want from him, to be happy, and he has promised to try if you let The Archivist go. It’s hard not to just keep asking for more from you, but he knows he won’t ever have what he really wants, that he won’t be free of your affections.

So he tries to stop hoping for perfection, and instead hopes that by pleasing you in little ways, by approving of you changing things for him, that you will continue doing what he asks of you.

You can’t say he’s wrong. Even under the little praise that it IS better, if only a little, you preen, and lean into his side.


	10. Chapter 10

Using Jonah is easier than the Archivist. 

You were so excited to see Martin again that you were not willing to wait, but doing simple acts, walking and breathing and emoting, it’s all rather ridiculous. The only reason you did so with the Archivist was BECAUSE of his reluctance to do it without your guidance, an issue that Jonah does not share in the least.

So you take the easy way, allow him to love Martin for you.

You do not consider what type of person Jonah Magnus would have to be to love your Martin when he does not want it, because to you Jonah is just an extension, not a person. Yes he has brought you into the world at the suffering of others, but you ENJOY their suffering, that was to your BENEFIT.

You did not think about the fact that for years you had used Magnus to make Martin uncomfortable, that you used him to revel in his fear, it is little more than muscle memory at this point.

And when Magnus decides he is curious to see what Martin looks like without air, you don’t think about that either. It is in your nature to discover every curiosity, to look for the answers of every question.

You regret it almost instantly. He was starting to unwind around you, a bit, and now all that work is being destroyed, wiped away in an instant.

Still, there is nothing you don’t love about Martin, his pain and fear especially, and as much as his suffering hurts, it is also a thing of awe, and you can not bring yourself to fix it.

Magnus himself, feels nothing but joy at watching Martin gasp like a fish out of water, clutching to his leg and silently begging ‘please, stop stop stop STOP-‘ in his mind.

He gently scratches at Martin’s scalp.

“I must say, you look absolutely dashing in that shade of purple,” Magnus tells him as he watches his face change color and tears stream down his face.

He tries to struggle, though to what end even he doesn’t know, and Jonah simply lets out a fond chuckle in response.

“You always were a stubborn little thing, I find it rather endearing.”

The Archivist to this point has been frozen in your joy as well, but at these words forces himself into action.

“Stop it. Stop- let him go don’t-“

“You can take it over from here if you so wish Jon,” he goads, smiling smugly.

Except the Archivist can’t. That little bit of defiance has allowed you to think, to pull yourself out of your joy for just a moment, so you can allow your Martin to breathe again.

You clench Magnus’s jaw shut, and go to reach for Martin with both his and the Archivists arms, to comfort him between both of you, but the moment you do the Archivist thinks at you directly in fury.

‘You’ll only upset him more.’

You pause that this momentarily. Martin never has liked Jonah.

“We are sorry,” you say softly with Jonahs mouth, and slowly reach the Archivists hand out to run through his hair.

Martin is too busy trying to get air back into his lungs to respond to you, only flinching and wildly thinking ‘no, no more, please, oh god, no, no, no-‘

You release your grip on the Archivist, and flick Jonahs gaze to him. You will not go to Jonah for advice on humans at this time, and your understanding of them is flimsy, but he knew that this would upset Martin, loves your Martin in a way that does not ask for the touch that would upset him now.

“He is afraid of us. How do we fix this?”

“We-you need to get away from him. This isn’t something you can actually fix, and he needs time to recover, to not worry about something like this happening again.”

“He does not need to worry. We will not do it again.”

“That doesn’t-“ your Archivists frustration and fear builds, unsure how to make you leave “look, whether or not you plan to be a threat, he’s still going to be scared of you right now. He needs time.”

You frown, unhappy at this thought.

“You will comfort him,” you say. It is not a question.

“Yes,” he confirms fiercely.

You worriedly open hundreds more eyes on the wall to watch your Martin with, and remove Magnus from the room.


End file.
